Main issue I have with this tune is that your percussion sounds very bland. It sounds like you're just using generic VEC samples.
You also need some more variation in your chord progression. Nothing really changes.
Sorry if this review sounds harsh, but I don't have those "average listener" ears if you know what I mean. I also like to keep my points short and sweet so that it can really get into your head. ;) Keep practicing.
~ Mexal